New project

Hello friends and family!! I know it's been the better part of a year since I posted, but what can I say? Anticipation is fun.

I am writing now to let you all know that I am starting a new project starting on December 1st! I will be adopting a cat...Brutus...and will be launching a photo a day blog. I will be hosting this project for one year...so please join me in my crazy antics while I make the leap into crazy cat lady!

http://thedailycat-astrophe.blogspot.com

Thanks for all the love and support!!

Spent

For the last three months, I've been training hard for a half marathon. I assumed I would be fit as a fiddle by this point and getting calls from Runner's World for a cover shoot. Well, despite the 25 miles a week and strict no soda diet, my phone is not ringing off the hook. My speeds are improving, my gait is getting more consistent, and my athletic wardrobe is expanding. All of this I was planning on, but there are some things I wasn't planning on that are happening.

First of all, I am being examined. Eery step of every run is being watched, judged, and evaluated. Having a running partner is like running next to a mirror. Its painful to watch sometimes. Slow runs feel slower and hard runs feel harder. Every time I wonder if I can put off that mileage until tomorrow, I have a team of people telling me to just lace up. My little sister looks to me for the way to train. And it's really difficult some days. On the note side of this coin is some really good stuff too. For instance, most runs end with shouts of victory and laughing. Plus, I am more prepared for this race than any other and that could not have happened without accountability.

I'm becoming very disciplined. Completing a hard task that right way takes a lot of time. It means getting up early or staying up late or both. It means drinking and eating right for days before actually having to put feet on the pavement. I have spend hours driving to and from trails, running stores, and treadmills. And I am someone who already struggles with time management, so this has been a hard lesson.

And finally, I have learned what it means to be completely spent. At the end of my runs I generally take the last tenth of a mile and sprint. Now, little miss short legs is not a sprinter by any stretch of the imagination. But I make sure that I leave it all out on the pavement. Well, recently I ran 12 miles...it was a good and hard run. I the day was absolutely beautiful and I was well hydrated. I pride my self in keeping excellent pace. Which is what I did for 12 whole miles. I looked down at my garmin probably twenty different times in the last mile, waiting for the last tenth of a mile so I could sprint. But as I approached 11.89 miles I realized, I didn't have any thing left to sprint with. Every shred of energy and willpower was scattered on the streets of Fort Collins. All I wanted was rest.

And then it hit me. A chilling moment of clarity, where God whispered to me. This is what it should feel when we finish this "race". Completely used up and confident that every bit of our talents have been spent on what God has asked of us. That's how I want to live, well prepared, with intentionality, purposed planning, and ending exhausted. I want to walk into the Father's arms ready to rest and know that my life was used fully.

So I guess this is where the real training starts. Wish me luck.

Up

I took this picture of the sky today and I am so glad a snapped when I did! Granted, the hipstamatic setting makes it look a bit more dramatic than the sky actually looked, but hey, pretty cool pic!


I'm happiest when the skies are angriest :)

friday morning bliss.

sharing awesomeness

hey friends and family.

i am having a rough week! no rhyme or reason...just feeling a little worse for wear. but i know that its just a phase/season/whatever. i refuse to wade in the waters of complacency though, so i am going to stop whining and start doing things.

i'm a strong believer that it is really difficult to be in a bad mood when you are surrounded by awesomeness, so i am going to make a list (did i ever tell you i love list making?) of awesome things that are in my life right now and share them with you. because, hey, maybe you need a little more awesome in your life.

• momastery.com is my new fav blog. seriously, glennon is a christian wife and mom of 3 who is very real and very awesome. i highly recommend checking out her stories. this one hit home for me...enjoy!
  
  
• i just got the coolest ring from my work. listen, i don't have the budget to do lots and lots of retail therapy, but little treats go a loooooooooong way. here is a picture of my very cool ring.

yes. it IS an airplane. be jealous. or just shop at she she.

• i have the best running partner. seriously. my little sister sarah is great at encouraging me, pushing me farther, and lamenting when the road really sucks. we definitely have different goals, but we have the same mantra. when one says "okay, i can do this", the other says "hey, you ARE doing this!"
• my nephew is going to be the coolest kid in all of colorado. possibly in the world. i bought him a book about a pidgeon and clothes with dinosaurs on them. i can't WAIT to spoil this kid beyond all stretches of the imagination.
• find new good music. holiness, how can songs just hit you like a sack of bricks? i am still loving florence and the machine, but i have branched out to some more fun stuff too. look up clara c and eli young band.
• friends are awesome. get good ones. and BE A GOOD ONE. my friendships are flourishing. seriously, how awesome is that? even my relationships with my family are becoming more like friends. its a pretty great feeling, if i am being honest. and when am i not?
• the ability to move forward is really great. so do it. like running: it sometimes blows and hurts and i just wonder when i am going to see new scenery part of the time. but my feet are moving. my feet are hitting the ground and i did just finish that mile. or those 5 miles. God doesn't keep me standing still...i do. so, i am moving forward. my forward motion involves all of the above and more.

okay. that is my short list. i will move through this fog. i know i will. thanks for being there through the bad moods and general blah-ness. i love you all.

I get by with a little help from my friends...

So often I need grace. I find it is my default request, actually. I don't ask for a ton of credit or wisdom. I don't really expect a lot of unwarranted respect. I just need a shload of grace. And on days like today, I needed grace and help. This is my thank you to my gracious friends who helped me out today.

Thank you, resident of #2. You let me use your ice scraper, yet again and bantered with me which kept me in good spirits while I lost feeling to my face in the cold.

Thank you, Kayleen. I saw you peek out your window and rush to put a jacket on so you could help me shovel. You might have redeemed yourself for scaring the crap out of me this summer with your general creepiness.

Thank you, Dawn. You kept me from freaking out about the state of She She while I tried to figure out the whole picture of what today was going to be. And offered to pay for a taxi to get me to work.

Thank you, FB friends and texting friends who offered me ideas on how to unstick my car and wished me luck with my endeavors. The luck didn't really get me far, but the ideas were quite fun and probably entertaining to watch me try.

Thank you, Mike. You always have my back and that means more to me than you will ever know. I appreciate that "having my back" today involved driving me to work in the truck and some much needed catch up time. Chatting with you in horrible driving weather is kind of a tradition now.

Thank you, Jess. Your foresight never ceases to amaze me. The coffee and muffin were perfect. Thanks for knowing me well enough to know I was in full blown meltdown and needed a little comfort food.

Thank you, coworkers. You did not push my buttons. You did not ask me why I was late or why my makeup looked slightly clownish and rubbed off. You hugged me and helped me pull up my big girl panties and just get on with my work. Thank you for offering shovels, prayers, kitty litter, and rides.

Thank you, random customer who said my hair looked nice today. I'm fairly certain you were lying since I saw myself multiple times in the mirror today, but that's okay. Still made me feel better.

Thank you, Ye Jee and your hubs. You sacrificed part of your evening driving me to get my keys and get me home. You helped me talk through my anxiety and made me laugh. You guys are awesome. I owe you....big time. (you better get that reference)

And thank you, resident of #2 again. Because you delayed your trip to Golden so you could help me push my car out of the snow, drove a path so I would be safe to drive out in the morning, and told me it was okay the entire time. I'm so thankful for you I could hug you! I feel so horrible I still don't know your name. You are awesome though and I will make this up to you.

You guys have know idea how your little pieces of sacrifice and love kept me together today. I could not have made it to this evening without you. You are all so awesome to me. Thank you so much. I wish you a wonderful evening with tea and cozy blankets. Loves.

not in any particular order

i am using one of those wonderful topics for blogging i found on pinterest. i have decided to not do them in order though...because it's my blog, and at the end of the day, i can do whatever i want. ha! so i am choosing to not cover topic #2, but instead skip ahead.

topic #23: Something That I Miss

i miss snow days from school. i miss them so much. i remember so vividly sitting in front of the tv, watching as odessa, olathe, and other school districts rolled across the bottom of the screen. i remember wishing i lived in the odessa school district because it seemed as thought they never had to go to school. and then finally, after i was completely dressed (or so late that there would be no chance of me getting dressed in time anyway), shawnee mission schools would crawl across the screen. practically begrudgingly, as if it knew i had been waiting. then i would shake off my school clothes (if i had gotten that far) and put my pj's back on. sometimes i would turn on nickelodeon or disney and watch movies all day, but most of the time i would just fall back to sleep until mom woke me up for lunch.

the cold, hard truth about being a grown-up (especially in northern colorado) is that there are no snow days. at least, not since i have been here. it's colorado, so the roads are generally cleared enough that you won't get killed by driving on them. the weather doesn't create horrible ice and sleet like we get in kc, so power rarely gets knocked out. and there is that whole thing about having to get a paycheck. yes, even if the weather sucks there are STILL bills to pay. which, in itself, is completely lame.

i hope when i have kids they get to experience snow days. i hope that they watch with rapt attention and groan when the list starts back over...once again without their school. i hope they cheer and ask for a special treat when they get the news that school, teachers, and homework are being held at bay do to the onslaught on winter weather. because every kid deserves to have that joy.

here's wishing for snow-pocalypse 2012. :)